How To Cope With ‘Retired Husband Syndrome’


Once a man for one reason or the other loses his financial independence and authority, a lot of things could happen, especially if this is as a result of retirement.

Another case scenario is the fact that he actually might not lose financial independence, but he could be bored as a result of inactivity. For both cases, the man begins to exhibit some attitude/behaviour like nagging, he becomes nasty and grouchy, the wife cannot seem to please him easily and he complains and condemns all the time. All these could be strange to the woman and bring stress on her.

The wife in this case has a duty to handle this situation properly because if not, other issues could set in.To the foregoing, Yemisi Bolajoko Ayorinde, Psychologist and Social Worker, Coordinator, Rock of Ages Family Centre; explained thus.

“There are two ways to the retirement syndrome issue; the first and easier one is when the man who retires is buoyant enough suffers from inactivity after retirement. He becomes restless and needs attention.

“If his wife is still in service or she has a job, for her sanity and home, she has to put in extra time for her husband. If she doesn’t do this, the man may begin to suspect her unnecessarily. So any woman in this type of situation at hand should learn to create time and give her husband enough attention, especially in a situation where their children are married or away in school.

“The other way is when he is retired and equally financially dependent on his wife. This situation can lead to a lot of crises, the simplest is nagging. A man in this situation will surely nag and no other person except his wife will be at the receiving end.

“A wise woman will handle him with care and prayerfully too. Imagine a scenario where a man had authority over his home by providing for his children and wife’s needs. Lack of money and loss of financial independence takes the authority from him. A man in this situation can exhibit a lot of negative behaviour and attitude.And if care is not taken, depression and other health related issues could set in. The woman has to be extra patient, show him love and understanding like never before.

“The fact that we all are human cannot be underestimated, but the Bible says, “a wise woman builds her home,” this is applicable at all levels. So when the human nature wants to outplay itself on the woman, she should learn to control herself. This is because if the situation is not well handled and he develops health complications, she will be the one to bear the brunt of his retirement induced blues. This also brings us to the fact that, we all should plan for our retirement,” concluded Ayorinde.