Tattoos have been a part of human cultures for ages, growing from a tribal tradition into a contemporary art form. Most people strive to come up with unique tattoos that artistically express an idea or image that they identify with – indeed, there are many beautiful tattoos out there and artists that have worked hard to make tattoo art a mainstream, accepted genre. Every now and then, however, you’ll come across a tattoo so crazy that it makes you think “What the hell were they thinking?!” as you stare in disbelief and wonder how someone could choose to ink themselves with such a crazy or ridiculous tattoo. Here are the top 10 craziest tattoos of all time:
10. Lots of tattoos utilize parts of the body and incorporate them into a design as part of their concept. This cringe-worthy dolphin tattoo incorporates what seems like this guy’s stump of an arm as the dolphin’s rostrum (beak). This tattoo, as disturbing as it is, at least gets its wearer points for its use of an otherwise pointless stump. However, in terms of visual appeal, this tattoo represents a new level of animal cruelty.
9. Neither this hardcore woman nor her fully-tattooed body are young anymore. It probably took her years to cover her body (no need to show any more, grandma!) in what looks like a very intricate floral design. While perhaps beautiful, this “gesamstkunstwerk” of tattoo art is very shocking in terms of the time, money and pain involved. Important to note: this is probably the first pair of fully tattoo-covered granny boobs you’ve ever seen. And – hopefully – the last.
8. Here’s our tattoo-loving granny again, in a close up. What’s most messed-up about this woman’s cranial tattoo is not that it covers her entire shaven head, but that it depicts a colorful floral design that features ejaculating penises instead of flowers! What exotic species of vine is this? Way to keep it classy, grandma!
7. Didn’t know that you could tattoo your tongue? Well, you can. Why you would is still a mystery, though. Let’s hope that the pain of sticking your tongue out for hours on end and having it punctured by a needle was worth the peek-a-boo surprise factor of this crazy tattoo.
6. Cranial tattoos seem to be gaining in popularity these days, usually curving around the ear. This ridiculously ugly one, however, seems to depict its wearer’s brains inside a bloody, gaping hole in his head. What it actually depicts is the fact that he has no brains.
5. This unbelievable tattoo teaches us all a very important lesson: what looks very cool as a Halloween costume should always be permanently tattooed on your face.
Getting a new tattoo? Miami Ink’s tattoo guide will give you tons of ideas for unique, popular tats that won’t make you cringe.
4. Clearly, this guy had three distinct goals in mind when he decided to tattoo his face like a goblin:
a. To scare small children
b. To avoid being hired for any kind of gainful employment
c. To never have sex, ever again
3. This portrait of an anime-style baby with claws/stumps for hands would be disturbing even if it wasn’t tattooed on this woman’s pubic area – where it takes on even creepier connotations. The baby’s genitals are cleverly “hidden” by the same underwear that the woman herself wears. Just imagine: taking a girl home from a club and discovering this piece of pubic art in bed. Yikes!
2. Aside from the tattooing of reptilian scales on his entire body, Erik Sprague – AKA “The Lizard Man” – in his mission to transform himself into a lizard has performed body modifications including teeth-shaving, sub-dermal silicone transplants and tongue bifurcation surgery. Yeesh! If there is any redeeming quality to this disturbing story, it’s that Mr. Sprague at least makes a living form his weird appearance, as a carnival freak.
1. This guy’s head is a shocking example of what can be called a “tattoo allsorts” combining portraiture, tribal tattoo and various other styles into one hardcore cranial scrapbook of ink.
Now that you know what NOT to do, check out Miami Ink’s 2015 Tattoo Guide for some amazing tattoo ideas.