In Nigeria, Valentine is a special celebration where people dig deep into their pockets to catch the best fun possible while finding warmth right in the arms of that one person closest to their hearts.
While big hotels, night clubs, relaxation spots and other leisure centres went all out to put up events that would attract revelers, especially lovers on that day, other sections of the society including banks and schools also found ways to be a part of the show. But unwilling to be left out of the frenzy, churches also latched on to the bandwagon effect of the special celebration to sell a message or two. While some churches have been noted not to be new in this aspect, two of them particularly caught the attention of Nigerians, especially social media users with the theme of their separate events.
While the move by both churches has continued to generate heated reactions from many Nigerians on various social media platforms and real-life conversations, initiators of both programmes, as ‘raunchy’ as they sound, are going ahead with their plan, insisting that without hitting the right spots during sex, crisis could take over many homes.
For instance, One Flesh Ministry based in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, has put up a programme titled: sex, Power and Soul. Apart from being a special event to celebrate Valentine, it was also organised to teach partners on the latest and most important tricks in the ‘other room’ of the house, the church said.
But rather than receiving applauses from members of the public, criticisms have continued to trail the event, which many consider ‘immoral’ and ‘weird’, especially in a church setting. Unmoved by the barrage of hard knocks that had come upon them, pastor of the ministry, Collins Edebiri, said those against the programme were mere pretenders.
“There is no need pretending. If this was a night club event and I say ‘libido’, everybody would say it is normal. But the truth is that we are dealing with the same human beings. It is the same people who go to club that have problems.
“We used to do things around Valentine but never gave it a name. We have done ‘Marriage is Possible Conference’ in the past and nobody said anything, but as we prepare to do ‘sex, Power and Soul’, some are saying why should church talk about sex? I teach on the subject of sex and I can be very open and vulgar about it. We have come to a point where we have to be realistic and address problems whether we are talking about church or ministry.
“I went to a church once and the pastor told me to come talk to members about sex in marriage. A lot of them were shy. I asked many of the women at the event if they had ever experienced orgasm, instead of responding, they hid their faces. While I was teaching them, I noticed two women ran out of the church. They said they could not listen to such a thing in the church.
“By the time I finished, I told them that some of them were actually pretending. I told them to go home with their husbands and hold on to each other. I said if their husbands did not take them to that ‘mountain top’, they shouldn’t leave them until they experienced orgasm. Many of them went home and practised it.
“At about 4am, my phone rang; it was one of the two women who ran out of the church while I was talking. She was in tears. This woman had been married for about 18 years as at that time and had never experienced orgasm even though she and her husband had been having sex. That is punishment. She would have died without even realising what she had missed.
“So, we teach couples these things from the Bible, making it clear that God does not forbid such.
“We have seen marriages collapse before our eyes, so why shouldn’t we talk about libido when we are having incidents of low libido. There are those who have just become prominent on account of their very strong libido and they are creating havocs and wrecking homes; and you don’t want us to talk about this?
“sex was created by God but the devil has manipulated it. But sex can be pure. We are teaching people how to approach it. I am ready to spend the whole of next week after the programme counselling people, even if they are 200.
“Next year, there is going to be another outrageous theme until people get to understand the fact that there is the need to talk about this. They are even lucky that I have not started a television programme to talk about sex. People are not used to it, but we are going to make them get used to it,” he said.
While the theme chosen by Pastor Edebiri and his One Flesh Ministry for the special Valentine event has got people talking, the topic by his counterpart in Enugu has not fared any better – at least in the opinion of many. Apart from coming under public ‘fire’, especially for its title – ‘Achieving sexual Orgasm in a Christian Marriage’, the social media has been buzzing as a result of the topic.
But defending the decision to stage such an event, senior pastor of Wordcity Assembly, Apostle Vincent Nzeakor, said that the programme was divinely-orchestrated, therefore it was appropriate and possessed the power to transform sex in marriages.
“The programme was spiritually and prayerfully planned and orchestrated. We didn’t just decide to do this; there is nothing inappropriate about the topic, considering what I studied in university and my experience in marriage counselling.
“It beats my imagination why people are shouting and crying, wondering where it (sexual orgasm) is in the Bible. They should know that sexual orgasm is in the Bible – it is in Proverbs Chapter 5 Verse 19.
“There, the Bible said, “Let her breasts satisfy you…” Also, I Corinthians, Chapter 7 Verse 3 said the husband should fulfil his wife’s sexual needs.
“People’s problem or misconception with the topic is the sexual aspect but they should also consider that it is also a part of Christian marriage. The teaching on how to achieve sexual orgasm is just for married couples – it is strictly for married couples and we will send away anyone who is not married.
“Also, the volume of the public address system will be reduced to restrict the reach of the message to just those in attendance. I wonder why the problem – if you study the word orgasm, some define it as the peak of excitement during sexual intercourse. I wonder why people feel that sexual orgasm should not be taught in churches. Is it better to teach it in night clubs? What is wrong in discussing it in church among married couples?
“From my experience in marriage counselling, I observed that many marriages are suffering. Couples come to me to talk about their problems.
“There will be revival in their homes by the grace of God. We have had testimonies in previous cases where we conducted marriage counselling. I believe that the same God who fixed marriages will fix it again,” he said.
The programme by both churches, especially its ‘catchy’ posters, made the rounds on the Nigerian social media space earlier in the week, with some describing it as ‘weird’, ‘signs of endtime’, and ‘Satanic’. But regardless of those reservations, organisers are defiant in their quest to ensure men and women experience the best treatments in bedrooms across the country