The reason why most marriages fail or become boring is because people simply stop trying and get comfortable being stuck in that monotony of living everyday life with your partner.
Look at the average Kenya married couple. Their life revolves around work, back home, weekends they take the kid out, the guy goes for a few Tusker baridis with his mates, Sunday church and it’s back to the cycle. Of course, after the honeymoon phase, things are bound to get boring.
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If you want your marriage to work you have to keep making that extra effort you made back when you were both dating. In fact, oblivious to many, it’s actually the little things that count. That said, here are small things you can do to make your marriage last:
1. Keep doing the things that make your partner happy.
Happy wife, happy life they say. If your wife has always loved flowers, don’t stop coming home with flowers every now and then. If your husband likes it when you prepare a meal a certain way, do that for him every other day.
2. Have date nights.
When was the last time you even ate a meal together with your partner? We are so immersed in our work lives, by the time we come back home, we eat, watch one TV show and off to bed we go. We even stopped using the dining table, it’s there for decoration, very few people eat as a family. Make time to go for date nights. It could be at home or in a swanky restaurant. And ladies, you can always find a family member or nanny to look after the baby if you have a child so that you go for date night. Dress up, hold hands, have a great conversation over a few glasses of wine just like the good old days.
3. Take care of your appearance and body.
Sure, a lot change after marriage and once the kids come. But do take care of the body. Join a gym, keep fit, get your mani-pedi, gents get a haircut, dress well. You don’t want your partner to start getting attracted to other youngins out there since you no longer look appealing.
4. Maintain sexual intimacy.
I have said this time and again; many times, when people cheat, they’re looking for what they’re not getting from their partners. Ladies, you cannot have a headache all the time or ‘not be in the mood’ for three months. Your man will end up being serviced by someone else and vice versa.
5. Gift each other.
Remind your partner about the things that attracted you to him/her. Let them know that you appreciate them. Gift each other every now and then; not just during birthdays and anniversaries. And, a gift doesn’t have to be something so grand. It’s the little things that count; you could give them something nostalgic and sentimental; even something such as a picture collage of old photos from when you started dating for instance.
6. Compliment each other.
Sometimes, when kids come, women tend to feel like they are no longer beautiful. Remind your wife that she’s the most beautiful woman out there and you still see in her what you saw way back when you were dating. Spank that ass when she’s busy washing dishes and assure her that she’s still got it. A simple compliment can go a long way.
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Communicate, always. Don’t lie to yourself that there will be no fights. A marriage without fights is not a healthy one, whenever there’s conflict, don’t rush to pack your bags and run back to your mother’s. Find amicable ways to solve solutions and always be an open book in the sense, if you’re having a bad day, your husband doesn’t have to ask you, he already knows it just by looking at you.
Travel is therapeutic. You get to spend some alone time away from the kids and rekindle your romance. You don’t even have to go very far if finances are tight. A trip to Naivasha or Diani one of the weekends away from the kids is just enough. Every now and then you need to treat yourselves and unwind.
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9. Visit places you would go to when you were still dating.
That sparks nostalgia and brings back good memories that act as a great reminder as to why you married your spouse plus it’s cute to laugh about all the memories from a few years back. The key is not to take yourselves too serious. Laugh, and do things that make you happy together.