When a partner strays, it can be very difficult for the betrayed person. Cheating has led to the breakup of many relationships and marriages because some couples just cannot find their way past it.
If he cheated on you, you have to make an important decision. Should you stay or leave? At the end of the day, only you can answer that. Many women who stay with a cheating partner have come to regret that decision. But then, there are those who have forgiven and have gone on to have a strong relationship with a repentant cheater.
If you do choose to stay, however, you must be prepared for the tough road ahead.
Don’t sweep it under the rug
Sometimes, you and your partner may be so desperate to get past the cheating that you just accept his apology and move on. But the sad truth is, if you don’t process what happened, you will remain resentful as time goes on and this can be toxic for the relationship.
Have the right talk
If you are with a man who cheated on you, it seems natural to want to know the nitty-gritty of how it happened. But these aren’t the questions to ask. You shouldn’t care about what position they did it in or whether or not she is better in bed at you. You want to know and try to understand what made him make that choice. Was he feeling particularly insecure? Was he seeking validation? What was his state of mind while he was doing it? Did he consider your feelings at all? If he’s willing to talk about what motivated him, you can both figure out how he can change his approach to dealing with whatever issues that made him cheat.
It’s okay to let go
Sometimes, the best thing you can do after he cheated on you is to leave the relationship. He may be very remorseful and he may mean it when he says it will never happen again. But getting past an affair is extremely hard, both on you and on him. You cannot will yourself to forgive. And his every move will be watched for a while. The memories will haunt you at unexpected times. The simple fact is that you will never see or love this person in the same way again.
But if you do decide to give him another chance, you have to be prepared to talk, a lot. And he must be willing to offer up whatever information you need without any complaints. He has to really understand how much he hurt you before you can try to rebuild.
To learn more, here’s one thing you must never do if you catch your man cheating on you.