Breakups are tough, no doubt, but they are even tougher when you’re not the one who ended things. And it’s even worse when you did not see it coming. One minute you’re happy, and the next, your partner wants to end things.
It can feel like the rug was pulled from under your feet, and if you’re in love with this guy, it can be downright devastating. So how do you handle a breakup that wasn’t your idea?
Take the time to process it
When you’re the one ending things, you usually have some time to prepare emotionally. You get to process things and consider life without this person. That’s one luxury the other partner doesn’t have. So if you’re the one caught unaware, you need that time to process, even if it’s after the fact. Don’t react rashly or do the first thing that pops in your head. In fact, don’t say too much when he expresses his desire to end things. Take some days to analyze the issues you may have had. Let your mind catch up with what’s going on. You may even come to the same conclusion that breaking-up was the right idea.
Address those feelings of rejection
When someone breaks up with you, the feeling of rejection can mess with your head. You may feel unworthy, unwanted and insecure. This can make getting over the person extremely difficult. You have to get a handle of those emotions before they push you to do something crazy. Remind yourself that you will be wanted by the right person and that the fact that this guy wants to break up means he just isn’t the one for you.
Feel your feelings
Positivity does not come overnight. Be sad, angry and upset about the breakup. That’s normal, healthy even. Because it shows you’re getting through it rather than avoiding it. Respect your partner’s decision and make sure you cut off contact completely when you go through all of this.
Maybe you hurt him or made a mistake and that was why he ended things. Or maybe he simply doesn’t want to be with you. Whatever the case may be, you need to get to a point where you forgive yourself and forgive him too. So if you messed up, don’t beat yourself up about it. You’re human and that makes you imperfect. The same goes for him too. You cannot truly move on if you haven’t reached this point of forgiveness.
You will get through this
Someday, it won’t hurt this bad. It won’t always hurt this badly. In the meantime, just take care of yourself, keep your distance and stay strong. And when you’re ready, you can get out there and try again with someone new.
For more, here are a few things you should never do after a breakup.
Featured image via Youtube/Beyoncé